Binding: What I Did and What You Shouldn't

Every trans person I know of experiences some kind of dysphoria. That's what I talked about in my last blog post, Sunday: The Most Dysphoric Day of The Week, but today I'm going to bring up something that generally refers to trans guys or non-binary folk. Chest dysphoria, and binding. 

When I first started to explore myself and though I may be non-binary or trans, the main problem I faced with dysphoria was my chest. Uneducated and desperate for some relief, I pulled out the ace bandages I kept in my lacrosse equipment.

I know, I know now that was the worst thing possible I could have done. Hear me out. 

I was terrified that I might be wrong, or that someone would undoubtedly notice immediately that my chest was... flatter. So I tried out the ace bandages, kept it on for about ten minutes before I had to leave the safety of my bedroom. A few days later, I was feeling dysphoric much worse than the first time and I put them on and kept them on for about two hours. In that time, I was laying on the couch browsing Tumblr and Pinterest, as you do. Then I sat up.

Immediately I felt the pain. 

Note, binding should never EVER hurt you. If you feel pain, take whatever you're using off immediately and try and decide if it was safe or not. Spoiler: it wasn't. 

It was like I couldn't breathe, and my entire chest felt like it was being crushed into a tiny, tiny piece of human. So, of course, I figured I'd done something wrong. Let me clarify, I thought I used the ace bandages in the wrong way. I had no idea that ace bandages are the LAST THING I should be using.

I went to my room and took them off, then decided to research for 'techniques' to make ace bandages more comfortable. As soon as I opened the first article, I realized that I'd been a complete idiot.

Ace bandages are made to help with injuries. They're meant to immobilize your wrist or ankle or whatever you hurt. To do this, whenever they move, they get tighter. So, when wrapped around a rib-cage, every breath makes them squeeze tighter. Every tiny movement, every time you do anything at all, it gets tighter. 

Luckily, I found this out very soon after I started and immediately stopped, I started looking into binders for real. But a friend of mine I recently spoke to told me they experimented with binding their chest a bit when they were younger. 

This friend of mine brushed off the pain and told themselves that it was perfectly normal. They broke several of their ribs. This was years ago, and they're fine and happy in their body now, but that's serious. As soon as this friend found out I was transgender, the first thing they told me was that if I ever tried to use ace bandages, they'd drop kick me off a cliff. (In the nicest way, as friends do.)

So, the moral of this story is to never use ace bandages to bind your chest. It's very tempting, I know it is. Honestly, though, it is not worth it to do this. 

If you aren't an adult yet and your parents don't know or support you in this, there are several things you can do besides getting a real binder. Sports bras, for one. A lot of people with smaller chests find this method adequate. And, they're pretty cheap.

If you do have access to or the chance to get one, use a real binder.  You've probably heard elsewhere that gc2b are the best binders, I agree. I'm wearing one right now.  If you don't have money but your parents support, ask them! Chances are they'll help you out. Now, if you've read any of my other work you know that my parents neither know nor would support me. I purchased my own binder with money from working at the local Taco Time. So, if you're old enough to get a job, that's something else you should look into.

If there's anything you can take away from this, it's to just be safe. Using the wrong kind of binding techniques or ace bandages dramatically decreases the chance of getting top surgery later in life - which is something I'm hoping to do when I'm old enough.  As long as you stay safe and pay attention to your body, things should be okay.